The Five G.R.A.C.E. Steps Changed My Life

Before I lead an Overcoming Parental Rejection and Hurts (OPRAH) WORKSHOP I always ask myself, “What actual, concrete outcome can I promise you will have by the end of the encounter, and actually deliver on?” Then I run through the answers in my head: 1. You’ll now the extent of your soul damage (because you can’t really fix a problem until you know exactly what and how bad it is). 2. You’ll know the exact, customized steps to take to forever heal the pain of your parental rejection. 3. You’ll know the exact steps and words to use to fully forgive your rejecting parent forever. 4. You’ll know exactly who God has assigned to give you the parental love you have always wanted and deserved. 5. You’ll know exactly how your life will change after overcoming the effects of parental rejection. I could deliver on none of those promises if I didn’t have my own transformative experience with parental rejection, so I rely heavily on my own life change to help you arrive at yours. That’s why I list exactly HOW my prejection limited my life previously: a) fear (I was afraid of executing my ideas) b) lack of confidence (I had no confidence that I could make my ideas work) c) anger (I was self destructing consistently because I turned my anger inward) d) depression after every failure (this is the natural outcome of inner anger) e) isolation (I refused to be hurt again, which limited my ability to partner in order to achieve) f) poor expectation (from a negative worldview–though masked in word of faith positivity) Then I share my story of self-limitation, of struggle to break through the inner ceiling in my life: I was angry and full of self-destructive rage. Not explosive, but quiet rage, desperation, turned inward. That anger was like a computer virus working in the background of my operating system, slowing me up so that I was way less productive. Clinically depressed. I became overly dependent on a Santa Claus god to rescue me from the mess I consistently found myself in, knowing it was my own doing and yet feeling, accurately, that the deck was always stacked against me. I was full of excuses why I couldn’t make my ideas work, or why it wasn’t worth even attempting them. All of them were just blind essays authored by my fears and my lack of self-confidence. And all of them, including my failures and feelings, drove me further into shame and isolation and away from community. And then I hit ‘Rejection Bottom.’ I was rejected in Florida again, I cried out to God, and received/discovered/became aware of the early, non-commercial version of the 5 GRACE Steps. I did them. I healed. I changed. I honed them. I healed some more. Changed some more. Stumbled. Despaired. Recovered. Grew. Did them again. Healed again. Got rejected again. Did them again. Healed again. Honed them again. Began to teach them again. Wrote about them. Dedicated my life to them. And now stand in a radically different place than I did before I found THE STEPS. It’s easy to say that the the 5 GRACE Steps changed my life. It takes more time and effort, and is more helpful, for me to list exactly HOW self-applying the 5 GRACE Steps in my life erased my limitations immediately: a) They instantly energized me (I was able to release my immobilizing anger and my depression lifted) — I was freed and inspired to ACTION. b) They boosted and grew my confidence (I was able to install and build self esteem; confront and overwhelm my fears by love; and gain clarity) — so I executed my ideas. c) They empowered me to build partnerships (I defeated isolation; risked vulnerability and intimacy; and reaped their benefits) — so I began healing people and communities with what I was now aware I had of value to offer. d) They raised my expectations (I transformed my negative worldview to a realistic one) — so I began to NOTICE opportunities and ideas manifesting. e) They freed me to now chase my dreams and fully commit to the journey. You’re reading this, so you’ve likely had some bad experiences with parental rejection. I want you to know that the same 5 GRACE Steps that worked for me and changed my life will work for you and change your life as well.

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